Warning: If you are the kind of fan who does not want to read any spoilers and are not familiar with the details of chapter 618, DO NOT READ FURTHER. You have been warned.
Everyone who’s read even a little manga or watched some anime has heard of Naruto, the never ending saga. It’s been fifteen years since its first publication and Naruto is still going strong. It really has something for everyone – action, adventure, drama, a drizzle of romance, intrigue, emotion and what not. A diverse host of characters hold your attention and you’re transfixed by the depth of this new world. It makes you dizzy, it makes you fall in love and it’s still trudging on so you can be a part of the hysteria.
But as a loyal Naruto fan who gets so excited on Wednesday afternoons that she can’t stop bouncing around, the last few weeks of Naruto have been highly disappointing. So, in a spark of frustration and boredom, I decided to put together a list of plot details in Naruto that pissed me off. And here they are in no particular order, the 7 things Masashi Kishimoto did to piss off a Naruto fan:
1. Casting Tobi
Tobi, the mystery masked man(no longer a mystery).
Tobi’s identity has been on everyone’s minds ever since the character and his orange mask was introduced. Initially dismissed because of his madcap, childlike personality, Tobi persistently showed up in important parts and made himself mysteriously intriguing. He knew too much, he showed up everywhere and he seemed unbeatable. Then, he identified himself as Madara Uchiha and threw everyone for a loop. After some time travel theories and a ‘how old is he now then!’ argument, people grudgingly trudged on with the story, referring to Tobi as Madara Uchiha.
Madara Uchiha, the man we THOUGHT was Tobi.
To be fair, except for the age, it was fairly easy to accept Tobi as Madara. He knew a lot about the village that only the Uchiha could have known and he was well versed in the turbulent time of the village’s founding. These points considered, Tobi was accepted. Then Madara Uchiha appeared on the battlefield, resurrected. Flabbergasted, we had several weeks to consider new theories for the identity of Tobi. Though, I have to give it to Masashi. Debating the identity of Tobi led to a lot of conversations with fellow Naruto fans which led to a lot of bonding with a few. We were gung ho for Tobi being Kagami Uchiha, the son of Madara. He had motive and a backstory that we’d carefully come up with. We dismissed Obito partly because we liked how much of a good guy he’d been in life and because the timeline just didn’t work out well. When Obito died, he’d been a weak ninja who’d just then awoken his Sharingan. How could someone that weak fight Minato Namikaze like that ? Impossible. Then, the moment arrived(which frankly has been the best and worst cliffhanger ever). And my entire attitude towards Naruto changed.
The Real Tobi, Obito Uchiha
Frankly, Obito as Tobi is like the worst choice ever. Obito was a good guy. Madara turned him(why would Madara want Obito ? Obito wasn’t even the best of the Uchihas. He was the runt, the weakling) and Obito accepted Madara’s dream because of Rin’s death at Kakashi’s hands. In true soap opera style, Obito did not stop to consider one thing: Kakashi didn’t hate Rin. Kakashi isn’t the type to blindly go around stabbing people. I’m sure he had a very good reason for it(which he’s reluctant to announce and Obito doesn’t ask for because then Naruto might be over before my grandchildren learn to read read). Before all this madness, I really liked Obito Uchiha as a person and a ninja. He died a good death. Thank you, Masashi for killing it for me.
Had to throw it in because I love that picture. It’s just wickedly cool.
2. Bringing Orochimaru back. Again.
No one likes Orochimaru. His creepy pedophilic manner, the shenanigans he got up to(all that experimentation, tch tch), his weird face and the body switching really creeped everyone off in the shinobi world. I have no idea why Jiraiya didn’t crack and just finish him off. Too much of a good guy. Orochimaru might have been a genius but he was power hungry and had lost it in search of immortality.
So, we were all really happy when Sasuke killed Orochimaru(eh, more or less). He’d served his creepy purpose. He’d taught Sasuke as much as he could and had been killed off. One creepy bugger gone. Sasuke might have to expend energy to keep him down but he wasn’t walking, talking or plotting. Plus, the Professor and the countless people who died were revenged. Then, there was the abomination Kabuchimaru. Gah. And worse, the snake took over Sasuke at an opportune moment to attempt to knock off Itachi. Of course, he couldn’t live up to Itachi’s awesomeness and got knocked off himself. Woohoo! I was happy and in peace because Orochimaru had no remains(technically) to be brought back using Edo Tensai. No more creepy bugger ! Then Sasuke pulls a jutsu out of his ass and uses the curse mark on Anko to bring back Orochimaru.
Sasuke has never made me dislike him more than at that moment. Creepy bugger should stay dead and gone. For the love of god. He spent the better part of Sasuke’s life trying to take over his body and did lots of unspeakable things. I know its for some convoluted plot line that makes sense only to you but frankly, if you kill someone, LET THEM STAY DEAD AND GONE.
3. Killing off Neji Hyuuga
I have read a few articles explaining why this is necessary but let’s take a look at these pictures:
This is baby Neji.
This is Neji as he was in the throes of his angst.
This is Neji getting his ass handed to him by Naruto.
This is cool Shippuden Neji.
This is Neji and Tenten, the couple that we all thought was(though there was no wailing over his dead body like I expected Tenten to do).
As you’d have thought, he was a paragon of sheer awesomeness.
Neji was a pretty awesome character. He was one of the first to be a part of the “Naruto got to me” club but he was definitely the coolest one(Sasuke wishes). Here’s the reasoning people have come up with: Naruto Uzumaki needs to get real. This is a war and people die(not random shinobi but people he loves). He can’t protect everyone and he needs to get it together fast and finish off these buggers. So, an important character had to die to spurn him into a rage to take out Tobi and Madara. And it just had to be Neji.
The only thing I have to say is: Why couldn’t it have been Sakura ! Or Lee(Lee does deserve better,though). Or Gai(More expendable ?). Or Chouji(Sorry, dear fellow but its you or Neji). Or Ino(I’ve never known why you and Sakura are there). WHY NEJI. You alienated me there, Masashi. Right there.
4. Bringing back the Four Hokage
Masashi Kishimoto, this is how it works in the real world. If someone dies and they’re coincidentally in the Death God’s belly, they stay there. They cannot be brought back by Edo Tensai(We had a minor celebration then because I wanted those poor people to stay dead instead of coming back to be witness to all the mayhem and havoc).
But no. First Sasuke pulls out a jutsu from his ass to bring back Orochimaru and then to aid in his STUPID QUEST FOR KNOWLEDGE(this is while Naruto is battling Tobi and Madara. Way to go, Sasuke. Don’t do what your brother said. The brother who loved you more than anything in this world and the next), Orochimaru pulls a jutsu out of his ass, gets his arms back and then brings back the four Hokages.
Yes, that is really all that is missing from this crackpot stew. Hashirama, Tobirama, Minato and Sarutobi. If they go to the battlefield, the ensuing drama means Naruto won’t be over till my great-grandchildren can read. LET THE DEAD STAY DEAD and the living carry on. Does that mean nothing to anyone, here ? Sasuke, you selfish asshole. Why do we even need the Hokage on the scene ? More angst as this generation struggles to fight the past ? Leave some of the dead alone, Masashi. Thank god, Jiraiya isn’t here. I wonder why Kushina isn’t.
At this point, we’re like, no more drama, please. Bring on the fight, bring on the climax, let the dead stay dead and the living fight out their angst. Sasuke, you asshole, go to the battlefield and let Naruto hand you your ass.
Here’s a fun picture:
And a storyline I wrote for the picture:
The Hokage come on screen: “Reinforce the will of fire, Naruto!”.
Naruto: “Dad, I’m going to be the next Hokage and protect all my friends !”
Obito: “HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!”
Kakashi: “Sensei! You’re alive. Look I didn’t screw up your kid. Much.”
Minato: “Obito ? Didn’t you die?”
Hashirama: “I was really sure I killed him…is that my face on his chest ? Ew.”
Tobirama: “Should have never told anyone about Edo Tensai. Ever.”
Hashirama: “Agreed. should have strangled you at birth. This wouldn’t have happened then.”
Naruto: “I’m going to be the next Hokage!”
Minato: “You can do it, son ! We believe in you, your mother and I!”
And then they bring back the Rikudu sennin somehow. The Rikudu Sennin berates them all, revels in his own power and arrogance and knocks off Madara with a flick of his finger and escorts him to the Death God to be sealed away(while conveniently trampling on that Uzumaki clan mask to let him stay gone. HA, TAKE THAT SASUKE. That was just to stop idiots like you from disturbing the dead to ask questions.). And with another flick, brings all the good guys back to life(ala Pein) and everyone is happy again.
5.Killing Itachi and then making him stay dead. Unlike some people.
Itachi is pure awesomeness. Itachi is everything good and amazing in this world topped with the best set of ninja skills ever, a ruthless heart and a razor sharp mind. He was a prodigy who got caught in a nefarious plot that ended with mass murder and him fleeing for his life. But he couldn’t kill his little brother, Sasuke. Suffering from a debilitating illness while being the most ruthless mofo on this side of the universe, Itachi kicked ass and inspired terror as a member of the fearsome Akatsuki. Itachi died at the hands of his brother, just like he wanted to thus effectively completing Sasuke’s scarring. After all this, I’m surprised Sasuke is still sane. Er, more or less. Sasuke’s sanity is debatable.
Sasuke Uchiha, angsty emo boy extraordinaire.
Sasuke had a lot of questions after he found out the truth about Itachi but having gotten one set of messed up answers, proceeded to wreak havoc by trying to take down Konoha. Sasuke cannot be wholly blamed for turning out like this. After all, Itachi, patronisingly, let Sasuke carry on, mistakeningly believing Itachi to have killed his own parents for some cock and bull story. Sasuke killed Itachi to only realise that no one has ever loved him like his brother did. Itachi had his faults but in the end, he’s a shinobi to be remembered. Sasuke is furious with the village that caused him to turn out like this but really, he doesn’t ask the right questions. Ever. His questions are always at the wrong time(I wasn’t surprised Edo Tensai Itachi swatted away Sasuke with a ‘later bro’) or he’s just clouded with his own angst to see the big picture. Sasuke has suffered more than anyone in the series(Except Itachi. Not even Naruto) and cannot be blamed for going slightly crazy. But destructive crazy is different from speaking in tongues. Stubborn, bullheaded Sasuke is always doing the wrong thing(killing his brother, attempting to kill Naruto in a fit of angst, not killing Sakura when she tried to kill him, thus helping us out) and causing things to spiral out of control quickly. It has reached a point where there’s no PNR for Sasuke to come back to Naruto. No one will accept him after all of this.
ANYWAY, Itachi does briefly become undead and he does kick ass. But he dies quickly in a very emotional moment thus, scarring Sasuke even more. The point is, Masashi should have kept him alive longer so he could kick Madara’s ass and make Naruto world more awesome. He broke Edo Tensai even when we thought it was impossible. Sasuke might be a pitiable fellow but his angst and his stubborness is getting to me. I demand more Itachi and less Sasuke. I demand more Itachi. Without Itachi, I do not want to continue Naruto.
If Sasuke had died in the fight with Itachi, Itachi would have rued the world that made him kill his brother, taken down all the bad guys in one fell swoop, made the world go pale with his awesomeness and died because of his illness. Thus, making him the single most amazing person to ever step into the world. But of course, Sasuke had to survive and muck things up by starting a war. Good going, Sasuke.
6. Incorporating so much drama that it’s rapidly becoming insanity.
Naruto introduced me to a kind of drama that I can honestly claim to surpass Rurouni Kenshin’s similar brand of drama. I am, of course, referring to the inability of anyone to get into a fight without breaking out their sob stories. Even, that’s cool. But I am getting tired of listening to Naruto proclaim his aim to be the next Hokage, the endless proclamation of Obito’s beliefs, Tobi being Obito, all the jutsu popping up all over the place, the Sharingan’s unlimited powers, the posturing, the convoluted storyline and what not. There is just too much. The straw that broke the camel’s back is the resurrection of the four Hokage. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, END THIS NOW. No more character resurrection, just an all out, no holds barred fight to kick some ass and let the Naruto Universe go back to peace. Or bring back Itachi.
Because, believe me, we have realised that while it’s been a little over eight months in the real world, it is STILL the same day in Naruto-verse. All this drama in just one day. Geez.
7. There are no kickass women shinobi
Naruto suffers from the lack of a really strong female character who could kick everyone into shape and be on the ground, there with Naruto, proving their awesomeness(and not in the emotional way that Hinata is doing).
Tsunade kicks ass and fulfills all requirements but she is the only one in prominence. Sakura is her student but also, an emotional weakling who despite all claims to strength, crumples like paper to Sasuke EVERY SINGLE TIME(let’s not get started on her feelings for Sasuke, shall we ?). The one time she actually had him, she can’t do the deed because her emotions get in the way. Is this is a calm, cool shinobi ready to do their duty ? Naruto wouldn’t have done the deed as well at the moment(but he is determined to now, for the greater good if necessary) but Naruto would have delivered a speech worthy of making Sasuke burrow away inside himself in self doubt. Not cried. Sakura simply lacks the strength to be a good character who makes a real difference in the Naruto world. She is a peripheral character who loses importance more and more each day. Ino has one jutsu that she specializes but is nowhere as strong as her team mates. While she proves herself to be valuable sometimes(Sakura does as well), she is no strong lead character that makes even a slight difference. Tenten is a weapon’s mistress who proves herself to be a good partner to Neji but is again, nowhere as strong or awesome(this might be because of his Byakugan). Hinata is a timid, shy girl who’s madly in love with Naruto and confesses to him as well. But does she kick ass even though she has a Byakugan and must have had some rigorous training to become the Clan Head someday ? No. It’s a chauvinistic ninja world where the men are the ones with the cool powers and the jutsu while the women seem to not even be in the same league(this is leaving out the esteemed Tsunade). I have also come to realize that we have never encountered a woman with the Sharingan, ever. Hinata has the Byakugan(thus proving that eye jutsu can be inherited by women). So how is it possible that no woman from the Uchihas has ever done anything noteworthy to merit even a mention ? Or is the Sharingan a birthright only for the men ?
Konan was a strong character. She was smart, resourceful and powerful. Too bad, she copped it.
The Mizukage is a strong fighter so she also fulfills all requirements. But she is not one of the main characters.
I understand that none of the women have some of the advantages a lot of the male characters have. But they don’t seem to improve in leaps and bounds the way the male characters do. They’re stagnant or whiny and seem to be of little to no use.
The women inspire the passion/hate maybe(Rin) but they are not the cool fighters that the men are.
P.S – have finally realized Sakura’s purpose. It is to help Sasuke continue on the Uchiha line. No one else will, at this rate.